perfection

is what most EVERYONE expects from me. I am so sick of this. I get reamed for any little thing that I say or do that is 'out-of-line'. It makes me want to isolate myself.

people in my life...

are often quick to believe the worst about me. It always makes me sad because the information is typically wrong.

metastatic breast cancer

is my new diagnosis. It is definitely in my liver and is not curable. I may have posted something similar, but I need the repetition to help it sink in. I had surgery (three procedures) on 07/03 and am still trying to recover. I am on a new medication. It should work for the next three years. I am hoping for longer!! My body is all out of whack and I still *need* my pain meds. I am not looking forward to the day I need chemo again. I plan on fighting so that day never comes.

On a positive note, I have lost approximately thirty pounds. Food is no longer any type of obsession though I often need to remind myself to eat.

cancer confirmed

I have decided that this sucks big hairy, smelly beast balls. I am going to kick them hard and look fan-fucking-tastic while I do it. :)