holding it together

I've been good, but after being ill for over a month I cannot pretend everything is okay. (Yes, I've talked with my oncologist, but he does not know why this is happening.) It may just be my body reacting to the good changes I've made this past year, but my body does not feel right. The fear of having cancer again is taking over and I can't even work out to relieve my anxiety and stress. My closest friends and family are no comfort. They expect me to be the epitome of strength and endurance. They want me to tell them everything is fine. What I want is for someone to hold me and tell me that I'm okay. I won't hold my breath.