Hold My Hand.

I think I'm the only person in the world who fears losing weight and getting to a normal size. It terrifies me. When I'm fat, I get to be invisible and blame it for all my misfortune and lack of love interest. If I lose weight and no one wants or loves me, then it is because I'm completely and utterly unloveable. That thought causes huge anxiety attacks. Every time I have been regular size, I've been groped, grabbed, and jumped by stupid men who think it is okay to touch me. It happened when I was little and it happened all through college. I fear hetero men for the most part and befriend gay men who I know will never cross the line. I am losing weight now and the nightmares have come back. No one understands. All the old feelings come back. If I write it, then it gets out of my mind & I can push through this phase...